Heather's Cake & the Great Cookie Incident

via

Anyone catch RHOOC the other night? That crazy lush Sarah took a piece off the bow of Heather's cake (which you know had to have cost hundreds) and ate it before the cake was ever cut.  Her drunk excuse was that she has a sugar problem and had to eat it...mmmhmmm.

I cannot tell you how proud I was of Heather for not going ape**** on Sarah...cos I would have...in fact, something kind of like that happened to me once...just not with an expensive cake...

Two or so years ago when I was still a cop, a bunch of us (other cops from the city I worked in) went to eat dinner at Quizno's.  I got a sandwich and a cookie to eat.  I had turned to talk to one of my buddies and when I turned back another guy had opened my cookie and taken a bite....  I think my reaction was something like this:

(If you see a *, insert any given profanity)

Me:  Are you being * serious right now?  Did you really just * take a bite of my * cookie?  Who the * does that?  

Me turning to the person next to me:  Really...who the * does that?

I don't even remember what the Cookie Biter said, but what I do remember was 10 minutes later when the guy next to me looked at Cookie Biter and said, "Man, I have to got to ask you...what the * is that on your shoulder?" 


You know what it was?

Bird s***


And that is what you get for taking a bite out of my cookie.